When it comes to supporting victims of Eating Disorders, things get very complicated. This is because Eating Disorders are more than the eating and food-related dysfunctions we see in young people today.
The reality behind these conditions is much more severe than most of us are led to believe.
On the surface, what may seem like impulsive food-restrictive behaviours and a general disdain for eating, only reflects a small part of a larger problem.
Effectively, a common theme for many victims suffering from eating disorders is that their eating behaviours are merely expressions of deep-seated trauma and emotional insecurity.
In these cases, the behaviours we observe are essentially coping mechanisms for the emotional distress caused by that trauma.
Taking this into account, what would be the most appropriate way of supporting a victim with these issues as a parent or caregiver?
1 - Establish a Bridge Between You and The Victim
First, to understand and support victims with Eating Disorders, one must begin by breaking the stigma that obstructs many parents from building a bridge between themselves and their children.
This is fundamental, as you want your child to view you as a trusting person they can turn to for support instead of one that remains ignorant of what they are going through.
“Ignorant” may be the opposite of what we think and feel as a parent. Still, it is crucial to understand that how we react to the behaviours the victims displays strongly influences their emotional stance towards us.
Forcing them to eat, criticizing, or accusing them only creates distance between you. Furthermore, attempting to control their outcomes through rules and orders can worsen their condition and possibly alienate you from being able to help them in the future.
To achieve this, instead of speaking your mind, focus on listening the next time the opportunity presents itself. You may be surprised at how willing your child will be to share their thoughts with someone who is honestly receptive to them.
2 - Separating Your Child From Their Eating Disorder
Do not lump your child and their Eating Disorders into the same basket. At the end of the day, you are trying to work with them and not against them.
As a parent, feelings of anger and frustration are normal and completely understandable when Eating Disorders arise within the household.
However, it is vital for their recovery that you clearly distinguish between the Eating Disorder and your child who is experiencing the Eating Disorder.
By doing this, you have formed a team with your child to fight towards a common goal - Beating the Eating Disorder and doing it together.
A few ways you can do this is by not ascribing labels to your child and their behaviour. All it takes is a simple shift in language where you can describe your child as “being affected by X” or “having X” instead of “being X.”
You can also do this by ensuring that you blame the Eating Disorder for the damage caused instead of your child while encouraging them to make the same distinctions.
3 - Seek Professional Help
There comes a point when professional help is needed when the impacts of Eating Disorders become too overwhelming for you and the victim to handle.
Often, what we see is that the victim remains in a chaotic environment that allows their Eating Disorder to thrive and take the foreground of their thoughts.
What they lack is a consistent structure needed to create the shift in mindset that encourages the victim to identify their true values while separating themselves from their disorder.
This may consist of regular meal support during meals, where victims can voice their struggles and relieve themselves of their negative thoughts.
Additionally, while offering avenues to normalize eating, it is also crucial that the victims are able to explore the root causes of their conditions and discover adaptive ways of coping with their emotions.
When these elements are fulfilled, the victim can now create a robust foundation that will form the basis of their long-term recovery.
The Bottom Line
At Lions Campus, we recognize the complex nature of Eating Disorders and offer an environment specifically tailored to support young people in recovery.
Principles such as open communication, separating the disease from the individual, and offering non-judgemental guidance are central to our approach.
Ultimately, with the main goal of facilitating a smooth transition to everyday life, we hope to create better outcomes for all who enter our doors.
Want to know more?
Please visit https://www.lions-campus.co.uk/ to learn more and download our brochure.
